Craig: New Twitter brilliantly documents party hookups

Close your eyes for a second. Well, keep reading this, so don’t close your eyes. Never mind, just clear your mind for a moment.

Picture yourself in a filthy basement, your vision fuzzy and personal censor removed. Drenched in sweat, a remixed version of some top-40 hit is blasting so loud you can feel your eardrums trying to pop out of your skull.

Your friends are texting you frantically to come get Chinese food with them, but you’re a bit preoccupied. There’s no room in your mouth for General Tso’s chicken, because it’s currently being occupied by the tongue of someone you’ve just met. They taste like a combination of flat keg beer and cigarettes, but that doesn’t stop you from groping and necking like the world is about to end and this is the last person you’ll ever have any intimate interaction with again.

Chances are, you’ve been in this situation before. A party, a dance, a random hookup; most have enjoyed  – or regretted, depending on who you ask – the occasional consequence of party life on a college campus.

Yet no worries, because this embarrassing display is just a moment lost in time, a brief footnote in the history of your college career to laugh about the next morning. Right?

Wrong. So, so wrong. Because an incredible new Twitter account, @TempleMakeouts, is documenting these scenes from the underbelly of Temple’s weekend nights, and you’re only a friend’s iPhone away from being exposed to almost 2,000 followers for your actions.

“If someone doesn’t want to be put on @TempleMakeouts, they have to realize we have created a campus-wide social networking game on the weekends,” said one of the six admins for @TempleMakeouts, who all remain anonymous, “People go out targeting to submit pictures of people getting freaky on the dance floor.”

That’s right, partygoers. Watch out, because @TempleMakeouts is the new social equalizer. It doesn’t matter who you are, because the camera shows no mercy. @TempleMakeouts gives us the gritty portrayal of a side of Temple that you won’t find in the school brochure; a beautiful canvas filled with brief encounters of lust and substance fueled acts of desire. And I can’t get enough of it.

For a longer commentary piece on @TempleMakeouts, check out the Opinion section of the March 19 issue of The Temple News.

Daniel Craig can be reached at daniel.craig@temple.edu.

Iannelli: Responding to the the response to the State of the Union

There are very few things that I hate more than being talked down to, which may very well be why your much-discussed State of the Union response last week rubbed me in the exact opposite direction of my fur on Tuesday, Mr. Rubio.  I caught every single word – and gulp –of your address, Mr. Senator, and to be frank, I demand an apology of sorts.

You see, my compatriots and I are the most connected generation in history.  We are able to, in a moment’s notice, use the spooky magic of the Internet to fact check every single word you broadcast into the public sector in real time.  And we enjoy doing it.  We appreciate facts, and we expect you to use them, abuse them and make them up as you please, like a real politician.  So when you turn in a speech full of enough sweeping generalizations to make a teen abstinence activist blush, inquisitive college kids like me get a tad ornery.

Thank you for kindly informing me that the government creates “complicated rules and laws.”  If you could hang out in my living room and inform me when my fireplace is hot, that’d be a massive help as well. Your job as a Senator is to create “complicated rules and laws,” Mr. Rubio.  You are the government.  If you refuse to make the scary, scary rules that allow our country to operate and keep businesses from dumping asbestos into my local water supply, who will?

Another gem from your rebuttal speech: “Our government can’t control the weather.”  Why not, Mr. Senator?  The Chinese claim to have built weather cannons for the Beijing Olympics that destroyed the city’s typical life-smothering smog.  What say you to that?  Is this why your party fears the Chinese so much?  Can I now blame Philadelphia’s inconveniently snowy February on menacing Chinese weather guns?  I demand answers.

Jokes aside, I wanted to like you, Mr. Rubio.  I wanted to believe that you really were the “Savior of the Republican Party,” as Time Magazine was so quick to anoint you this month.  I wanted to believe that your party’s recent thrashing at the Presidential polls had forced your constituents to modernize and align yourselves with causes that young people could get behind.  Like any semblance of science, for instance.

Instead, you denied global warming, blankly ignored the raging gun control debate, and served the American public more clichéd statements about Republican values than a seventh-grade Social Studies class.  Thank you for informing me that you think government is a bad, bad thing.  It’s great to know that you hate taxes more than Ke$ha hates disinfecting herself.  It was nice to hear that you think that I should be able to afford college, Mr. Senator.

It would have been even nicer if you told me how.

Jerry Iannelli can be reached at gerald.iannelli@temple.edu or on Twitter @jerryiannelli.

Scott: Upcoming “investigative report” will look into sugar baby phenomenon

Who here hasn’t heard the news sweeping Main Campus? Sugar babies are real, and apparently they are not some sort of knockoff candy found in a shady corner store.

Yes, the lovely people over at seekingarrangement.com inundated the media – The Temple News included – with updates about which campuses were teeming with women whose applications to Millionaire Matchmaker were unceremoniously rejected. And you know it’s legit because they said so, and because Metro (among others) said they said so.

Who can’t recollect just how they felt when they heard the news? I distinctly remember fighting back a wave of apathy, only to be swept away by a secondary attack of the “uninterested’s.” Then I think I took a nap.

But there were others more diligent than I. One such person, Ed Barrenechea, led an investigative assault on the website and came away with some shocking findings. I don’t want to give too much away, but “married, yet readily available” is a relationship status.

I don’t have a punchline for that yet, but I’m not sure I need one.

His breathtaking findings will be hitting those fancy red newsstands Tuesday morning bright and early, and of course will be available online at temple-news.com. Make sure you check it out.

Philly.com Web site redesign, what do you think?

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Philly.com – the online home of the Inquirer and the Daily News – has a new redesign.

Our man Daniel McQuade of Philadelphia Weekly’s Will Do blog has some thoughts.

Well, well! Philly.com went a redesigned and… well, they got rid of the changing front page via Javascript, so the redesign is an immediate success in one area. Reader Christopher emails: “The site has totally gone retro 80’s pastel with geometric shapes and magic marker headlines. Feels like Miami Vice.” That kind of feels right, though — remember, this is a company that pays both Michael Smerconish and Christine Flowers, who must turn in their columns in magic marker.

Gauging TTN staff, our lame duck Editor, Chris Reber, says it “looks good, but isn’t that the same design as Stereogum?”

Continue reading

Philadelphia police beating as bad as Rodney King?

You’ve heard it by now.

Fox 29 captured an 11-minute video following a Philadelphia police chase that ended with officers punching and kicking three men, suspected of a drive-by shooting minutes prior Monday night.

In case you’re smart enough to avoid cable news, you might not realize that the story is being recycled again and again each news hour with new perspectives with the same information. Here’s the footage discussed with a New York City lawyer on CNN.

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Yesterday the Rev. Al Sharpton, as you could have bet he would, chimed in, calling the beating “worse than Rodney King,” referring to the 1991 beating of King by Los Angeles police.

In case you don’t realize how ridiculous that assertion is, here’s the notorious Rodney King footage. Truly it’s graphic.

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Listen to NPR’s coverage here.

Tough week for the city’s police, who had to deal with Saturday’s fatal shooting of 12-year veteran Sgt. Stephen Liczbinski, after he responded to a robbery at a bank inside a Port Richmond supermarket.

Marc Lamont Hill: rumors swirl on relationship with Star Jones

Temple education professor Marc Lamont Hill was spotted going out to dinner with TV personality Star Jones, Dan Gross of the Philadelphia Daily News reported.

Celebrity media was all over Star leaving her previous man, or so I’m told.

Our man Marc Lamont Hill is always a “Sexy Single” when the Daily News gets into that and he’s a frequent contributor to cable news shows. On his blog, comments are raging on the rumors.

Photo courtesy of Bossip

Email Scam Does Not Trick Me This Go Around

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We all read about that scam perpetrated against Temple’s email system. Fraudulent emails were sent to users, some of whom responded with their passwords. Spammers then used Temple’s system to send out advertisements for enlargement creams, enlargement pills, and get rich quick schemes. There is a silver lining, though.

I was not one of the users who fell for this scam. This is quite unusual, because I have a habit of being fooled. Two factors have combined to make me susceptible. I get excited whenever I receive emails. Each email is an opportunity to socialize. I cannot resist replying. Furthermore, my email signature used to contain five of my most important passwords and two credit card numbers so I would not forget them. My life coach, Dr. Guillermo Guadalupe, advised me to end this practice.

The worst example of my gullibility was when I mistakenly entered into a business relationship with a barrister from Nigeria. Kenneth J. Eket urgently needed my help. A previously unknown relative of mine, Engr M. Soodhalter, had been doing business in Nigeria when he died of liver explosion. He had been investing heavily in ice cream futures. There were over 42 metric tons of ice creams being held in a warehouse, ready to be sold at market. As the only living relative of Engr M. Soodhalter, only I could authorize any movement of this business account. Time was of the essence as the ice cream would soon melt. To move the ice cream, he needed a certified letter with my signature, a $5000 initial commitment, and all information relating to an active bank account of mine. After an email exchange, I wired him the money and sent him all the information and documents he needed.

I later realized this was all a scam. I lost the money in the account, the money I sent him, and some expensive letterhead. This scam also cost me 76 metric tons of cherry popsicles I was holding for some people in Senegal. The scammers had gotten into my other business dealings. I later inquired about the popsicles, and nobody in Senegal knew where they were.

I realize now, I should have gotten a life coach years ago. Dr. Guillermo Guadalupe controls my finances, and I am scam free. Thank goodness he found me at that free government money seminar.

Kirk Soodhalter is a Ph.D. student in the department of mathematics at Temple. Originally from Houston, TX, he got his undergraduate degree from Tulane University in New Orleans, LA. He likes to get haircuts and make toast. He enjoys manufacturing satire, more of which can be seen at his personal blog.

Media Bias

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As the Democratic nomination process continues, supporters of both candidates accuse the media of bias. Each time a particular negative narrative takes hold in news stories for a few days, it is a sign of some sort of bias. At one time, these arguments gained much traction with me, but I was enlightened.

I used to think the media held a bias against me, personally. A few years ago, a now defunct kitten fancier website held the Kitty Cat Cutie Contest to which entrants would submit their cutest picture of a kitten doing something adorable. I submitted a photograph of my two-year-old tabby, Mr. Foo Foo. In the picture, Mr. Foo Foo is wearing a little bonnet and I am feeding him mashed tuna fish (chicken of the sea). At first, I just sent emails to my friend, imploring them to vote for my photo of Mr. Foo Foo. I realized, though, that I was going to need to recruit more people around the country to submit their votes. I sent press releases announcing the debut of Mr. Foo Foo on the cat fancier website to newspapers and to local and national television news organizations. Would you believe that not one of these organizations was willing to even send me a reply acknowledging my submission? I held a press conference, and nobody was there; well, except for Mother.

Understandably, I concluded there was media bias against me. Then something happened that allowed me to gain some perspective. A farmer called McKracken in rural Texas filed a complaint alleging that I was sneaking Mr. Foo Foo into his chicken coupe and turning him loose for the night. The media was all over this story like stink on rice. Local muckrakers wrote reams about Mr. Foo Foo’s contest entry and subsequent coupe incident. They sustained the controversy and frightened other farmers. Of course, the media completely distorted what had occurred, but that did not matter. It was all about the Lincolns.

On the whole, the media is not biased toward a particular point of view. News purveyors will frame a story in such a way to inflame passions and fears in order to generate revenue. There was never an anti- Foo Foo agenda. The only media bias is toward revenue generating controversy, even if it is manufactured.

Kirk Soodhalter is a Ph.D. student in the department of mathematics at Temple. Originally from Houston, TX, he got his undergraduate degree from Tulane University in New Orleans, LA. He likes to get haircuts and make toast. He enjoys manufacturing satire, more of which can be seen at his personal blog.

Penn hates cancer more than Temple

More than 1,000 walked around in a circle and other stuff to raise funds for cancer research, part of the 5th annual Relay for Life, held in the Student Pavilion on Friday.

As Event Chair and junior public relations major Beth Davis told The Temple News on the video below that was posted after the event here, the event reached its goal of raising more than $40,500.

Truly a great event, and holler at men’s basketball coach Fran Dunphy for filling in as the event’s keynote speaker.

Still, that total was less than a third of what Dunphy’s former home, the University of Pennsylvania, raised in its Relay for Life, despite having some 13,000 less students, as reported by The Temple News today.

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