Craig: New Twitter brilliantly documents party hookups

Close your eyes for a second. Well, keep reading this, so don’t close your eyes. Never mind, just clear your mind for a moment.

Picture yourself in a filthy basement, your vision fuzzy and personal censor removed. Drenched in sweat, a remixed version of some top-40 hit is blasting so loud you can feel your eardrums trying to pop out of your skull.

Your friends are texting you frantically to come get Chinese food with them, but you’re a bit preoccupied. There’s no room in your mouth for General Tso’s chicken, because it’s currently being occupied by the tongue of someone you’ve just met. They taste like a combination of flat keg beer and cigarettes, but that doesn’t stop you from groping and necking like the world is about to end and this is the last person you’ll ever have any intimate interaction with again.

Chances are, you’ve been in this situation before. A party, a dance, a random hookup; most have enjoyed  – or regretted, depending on who you ask – the occasional consequence of party life on a college campus.

Yet no worries, because this embarrassing display is just a moment lost in time, a brief footnote in the history of your college career to laugh about the next morning. Right?

Wrong. So, so wrong. Because an incredible new Twitter account, @TempleMakeouts, is documenting these scenes from the underbelly of Temple’s weekend nights, and you’re only a friend’s iPhone away from being exposed to almost 2,000 followers for your actions.

“If someone doesn’t want to be put on @TempleMakeouts, they have to realize we have created a campus-wide social networking game on the weekends,” said one of the six admins for @TempleMakeouts, who all remain anonymous, “People go out targeting to submit pictures of people getting freaky on the dance floor.”

That’s right, partygoers. Watch out, because @TempleMakeouts is the new social equalizer. It doesn’t matter who you are, because the camera shows no mercy. @TempleMakeouts gives us the gritty portrayal of a side of Temple that you won’t find in the school brochure; a beautiful canvas filled with brief encounters of lust and substance fueled acts of desire. And I can’t get enough of it.

For a longer commentary piece on @TempleMakeouts, check out the Opinion section of the March 19 issue of The Temple News.

Daniel Craig can be reached at

Iannelli: Responding to the the response to the State of the Union

There are very few things that I hate more than being talked down to, which may very well be why your much-discussed State of the Union response last week rubbed me in the exact opposite direction of my fur on Tuesday, Mr. Rubio.  I caught every single word – and gulp –of your address, Mr. Senator, and to be frank, I demand an apology of sorts.

You see, my compatriots and I are the most connected generation in history.  We are able to, in a moment’s notice, use the spooky magic of the Internet to fact check every single word you broadcast into the public sector in real time.  And we enjoy doing it.  We appreciate facts, and we expect you to use them, abuse them and make them up as you please, like a real politician.  So when you turn in a speech full of enough sweeping generalizations to make a teen abstinence activist blush, inquisitive college kids like me get a tad ornery.

Thank you for kindly informing me that the government creates “complicated rules and laws.”  If you could hang out in my living room and inform me when my fireplace is hot, that’d be a massive help as well. Your job as a Senator is to create “complicated rules and laws,” Mr. Rubio.  You are the government.  If you refuse to make the scary, scary rules that allow our country to operate and keep businesses from dumping asbestos into my local water supply, who will?

Another gem from your rebuttal speech: “Our government can’t control the weather.”  Why not, Mr. Senator?  The Chinese claim to have built weather cannons for the Beijing Olympics that destroyed the city’s typical life-smothering smog.  What say you to that?  Is this why your party fears the Chinese so much?  Can I now blame Philadelphia’s inconveniently snowy February on menacing Chinese weather guns?  I demand answers.

Jokes aside, I wanted to like you, Mr. Rubio.  I wanted to believe that you really were the “Savior of the Republican Party,” as Time Magazine was so quick to anoint you this month.  I wanted to believe that your party’s recent thrashing at the Presidential polls had forced your constituents to modernize and align yourselves with causes that young people could get behind.  Like any semblance of science, for instance.

Instead, you denied global warming, blankly ignored the raging gun control debate, and served the American public more clichéd statements about Republican values than a seventh-grade Social Studies class.  Thank you for informing me that you think government is a bad, bad thing.  It’s great to know that you hate taxes more than Ke$ha hates disinfecting herself.  It was nice to hear that you think that I should be able to afford college, Mr. Senator.

It would have been even nicer if you told me how.

Jerry Iannelli can be reached at or on Twitter @jerryiannelli.

Craig: Harlem Shake symbolizes a powerful revolution

“Do you hear the people sing? Singing the songs of angry men!” – Les Miserables

A revolution starts with a spark, a small flame to ignite a peoples with a common goal. In this case, a Facebook event is all that was needed to round hundreds of inspired young adults to sacrifice their Friday afternoons for a common cause: dance.

Temple Students gathered around the Bell Tower this afternoon to recreate the famous Harlem Shake videos, creating a sea of costumes and fist pumping that clearly said, “We’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore!”

Yet to what oppressive force can we attribute this phenomenon? With so much going on, it’s clear these Youtube pioneers were making a statement about something.

What about President Obama and his policies?

“Absolutely,” said sophomore Harmon Sachse, “Obama is directly related to this.”

Could this be in response to the recent debate surrounding immigration?

“I think it says nothing at all about immigration,” said junior Joseph McGovern, “I think everyone who’s here was already in the United States.”

Maybe this video will be a defiant rejection of corporate culture. A Temple student, who to protect his identity decided to go simply by “Tim,” commented on this possibility.

“Um,” said Tim, “I don’t know. Maybe it’s about like overplayed pop music that’s exploited by record companies.”

Although the direction of this movement is not clear, we can say for sure that it is a bold expression of our Wayne and Garth given right to party on.

Daniel Craig can be reached at

Scott: Valentine’s Day needs to be stopped

With Valentine’s Day mere hours away, I can’t help but be filled with this burning, uncontrollable passion. You know; fury.

Valentine’s Day is easily the most unrealistic holiday. We plaster everything with hearts, yet we don’t care enough about the person to at least make sure they’re anatomically correct. If you love a person, you’ll include ventricles. Bonus points if they’re functional.

We bath everything in red and pink, and are expected to just ignore what a mixed message that sends. Wikipedia itself, the number one source of information for anyone who’s too busy to do any real research, describes the color as “danger, sacrifice, passion, fire, beauty, blood, anger, socialism and communism.”

So the next time you hand a bouquet of red roses to your significant other, think about how what you’re really giving is a flag to all around that he or she is a dangerous person looking to commit an act of passionate sacrifice into fire to obtain some beautiful blood to appease their angry socialist and communist gods. And do you know what type of flag that will be? A red one.

As for pink, the mighty Wikipedia says that “most variations of pink lie somewhere between red, white and magenta colors.” It’s indecisive, and that’s not what love is supposed to be.

Love also isn’t supposed to be about mass-produced consumerist culture either. It’s supposed to be about sincerity and showing who you truly are. No matter how many Golden Girls re-run marathons they run, Hallmark will never be able to tap into that sassy, yet sagely voice that is uniquely yours.

But if you go on a spiel about how you morally object to this accursed holiday, all you’ll get are people staring at you and continuing to demand some Tums crafted into a heart and carved with some vaguely romantic message. If Valentine’s Day has become a social obligation, what options do you really have?



I’ve always opted to make my own cards. It gives me full customization abilities and makes me feel like still having a protractor in my life past the fourth grade is forgivable. Yes, a protractor. I take angles seriously.

For those of you who don’t have a supply of glitter large enough to survive the wackiest Mardi Gras-related apocalypse imaginable, I’d recommend faking it until you are making it. Any implications hidden in that last sentence were solely the product of a compulsive need to rhyme.

For your convenience, here is a selection of very unique Valentine’s Day cards that people will think you took the time to craft. Use them at your leisure.



When it comes to gifts, I recommend using the same tactic. Poems, song lyrics and articles of some kind all make great individual gifts. It doesn’t need to stop there, either. Forgot Godiva, make your own chocolate. Master botany. What could possibly go wrong there?

Together, we can defeat the excessive capitalist influence and turn the symbolism of Valentine’s Day into something that really represents what the holiday should be about. We can make it what it always should have been. Well, you guys can. I’ve procrastinated too long and if I don’t get a card and some chocolate soon, my girlfriend is going to kill me.

Zack Scott can be reached at or on Twitter @ZackScott11.

Scott: Upcoming “investigative report” will look into sugar baby phenomenon

Who here hasn’t heard the news sweeping Main Campus? Sugar babies are real, and apparently they are not some sort of knockoff candy found in a shady corner store.

Yes, the lovely people over at inundated the media – The Temple News included – with updates about which campuses were teeming with women whose applications to Millionaire Matchmaker were unceremoniously rejected. And you know it’s legit because they said so, and because Metro (among others) said they said so.

Who can’t recollect just how they felt when they heard the news? I distinctly remember fighting back a wave of apathy, only to be swept away by a secondary attack of the “uninterested’s.” Then I think I took a nap.

But there were others more diligent than I. One such person, Ed Barrenechea, led an investigative assault on the website and came away with some shocking findings. I don’t want to give too much away, but “married, yet readily available” is a relationship status.

I don’t have a punchline for that yet, but I’m not sure I need one.

His breathtaking findings will be hitting those fancy red newsstands Tuesday morning bright and early, and of course will be available online at Make sure you check it out.

Scott: Studying civility in the modern age

About one hour ago, around 2:54 p.m. EST, I was walking back to my apartment after work. I was nearing an intersection on Main Campus when a car pulled up at a stop sign not far from me. The driver side window was down. The driver made eye contact. He pointed out the window directly at me. He opened his mouth decisively.

“[Bundle of sticks]!” he yelled with fierce determination.

Obviously, his actual word choice was not what lies inside those above brackets, but something that rhymes with traggot. Additionally, even though I just made that word up, I assure you it has a much friendlier connotation when used in that context.

This situation is made even more peculiar when it’s included that I had never seen that man before in my life.

I keep running the event back in my head, but I still just don’t understand. Did I miss something? Did his gross neckbeard imbue him with the power to decide my sexual preference or was he offering me a cigarette and just lacked any form of vocal control?

Frankly, I’ve decided that neither whom I chose to love or if I am a tobacco product are any of his business. But I have decided that it is my right as an American to try and overanalyze this event and assign it deeper meaning.

What inspires a man to yell such a word at a complete stranger? Is it frustration? Stupidity? Repression? Poor vocabulary? All of the above? I don’t know yet. But I do know the fact that I was a little taken aback but not fully surprised says something is wrong here. Whether it is indicative of something wrong on Main Campus, in Philadelphia or within the human condition in general is something I’ll need more time – like maybe another hour or so – to decide with anything I can even joke about as certainty. To rule out the possibility of that neckbeard growing roots to the brain could take days.

While I ponder these events, I think it only right that I attempt to placate myself by demanding a three part apology. First, to me personally, because seriously dude what the hell? Second, to Grant Hill and Jared Dudley, who apparently wasted their time combatting the use of the word “gay” in those GLSEN ads because there are bigger fish to respect as individuals regardless of their preferences. Third, to himself, preferably in the form of shaving off that neckbeard.

I eagerly await a reply.

Ahsan: Does Philly cop scandal affect reputation of Temple security?

Recently, a video went viral on Sunday depicting Philadelphia Police Lt. Jonathan Josey II punching an unarmed woman in the face during the Puerto Rican and Latino Heritage Day at the corner of Fifth and Lehigh Streets.

The video showed the woman, who was “cited for spraying silly string at officers,” in the act before the subsequent punch was thrown.

There has been and will continue to be much debate surrounding this event, as there should be. Mayor Nutter is just one of many people who have spoken out. Some have discussed the tenuous line between authority and police brutality, like Executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania Reggie Shuford, who said, “I was shocked when I saw the video of what happened. I saw absolutely nothing that justified the use of such extreme force to take this woman down.”

Others have busied themselves studying various idiosyncrasies in the officer’s past.

An interesting angle to examine is how allegations of excessive force affect police credibility outside of the afflicted department. For instance, does the Philly cop scandal affect the reputation of Temple authorities?

Naveed Ahsan can be reached at

What the delaying of the Voter ID law means for Temple

On Tuesday, Oct. 9, a Pennsylvania judge postponed the activation of the Voter ID Law until after the Nov. 6 election. No provision for the law’s fate after that date was established, however.

The Pennsylvania Voter ID Law and, more generally, voter ID laws across the nation, have drawn considerable criticism, often eliciting comparisons to previous voter limitations including restrictions on gender or race, literacy tests and poll taxes. Numbers have flown from both sides, and these numbers have also been looked at skeptically.

But I don’t want to talk about all of that. I have my own opinions about he Voter ID law, and they are rather strong. You might think that an opinion post would be the most opportune place to vent those notions, but I think there is another issue here worth considering.

When news of the law came out, Temple decided to update their student IDs so they fulfilled all the criteria the law established. This was a brilliant move that sought to avoid alienating any college student voters, a demographic which already is known to be ambivalent towards voting.

Now that the law won’t apply, we shouldn’t view Temple’s actions as in vein. The university acted swiftly to protect the rights of its student body. It should – and has within the editorial pages of The Temple News – be commended for its actions. When a hurdle to voting was presented in front of the student body – no matter what the intended severity of the onus – Temple acted to ensure that its constituents had a voice outside of the classroom, as well as within it.

Scott: College students need to get out and vote

It’s been impossible over the last few weeks to walk around anywhere in the city, Main Campus included, unperturbed. People asking, neigh, demanding to know if you’ve registered to vote have been everywhere.

But while the fact that I can’t seem to walk more than two blocks without being accosted by a smiling, clipboard-wielding volunteer has been mildly frustrating, I have benignly smiled and informed them that I have indeed at every brief interruption. It’s but a minor inconvenience and one that is easily tolerable when you consider their intentions.

Voter turnout in this country, especially among young college students, is dismal. Want a perspective on that? According to US Census Bureau data, voter turnout for the 2008 presidential election was 64 percent nationally, but only 49 among those ages 18 to 24. And that was up by a couple percentage points from the previous election.

I think we can do a little better than that. And these volunteers are just doing their best to make sure we do.

Well I don’t own a clipboard, but I do write a lot. So I’m going to do what I can.

Register to vote, please. In case you are unaware, the deadline is Oct. 9, so I would get on it if I were you.

Community voice preview: native North Philadelphian rapper

Tylib Williams, a North Philadelphian native and a self-proclaimed rapper, will be featured in this week’s issue of The Temple News for its community voice series. Williams discussed how food options are scarce in Philadelphia and the challenge of surviving on food stamps.

Williams is also a practicing rapper who goes by the moniker, Word Processor. Check his performance below for one of his raps.