This just in … (well, actually, it was in on Monday … but it’s important to make sure nothing more badass comes along before report of the week is posted)

 A non-Temple guy driving through campus early one morning was greeted with a bang, quite literally, by kids from Temple Towers.

 At approximately 3:25 a.m. April 11, he was headed west on Cecil B. Moore when a bottle flew from somewhere in Temple Towers and broke the windshield of his 2003 Mercedes Benz.

 That’s gotta hurt. But we’re left to wonder … were these “unknown” Temple Towers hoodlums aiming for the Mercedes or did this guy just have really bad luck? I mean, it’s always bad luck, I guess, when a bottle comes flying through your windshield, but one might take solace in knowing that, say, someone with excellent aim threw the bottle on purpose rather than some drunken idiot hurled it and oops, it just happened to smash your fancy car. Right? More credibility that way.

 What a way to say good morning. Those Towers kids, they’ve got a weird sense of humor.