Tag Archives: Crime

Crime report of the week – Starving college students

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Low on Diamond Dollars, are you?

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Food thefts in the Student Center spiked this week, with a record seven students caught stealing food there.

Looks like everyone’s out of cash, Diamond Dollars and the wit it takes to steal food from a crowded food court …

On Tuesday, one student ate fries right there then attempted to leave without paying. But they nabbed him. Talk about end-of-semester blues. No sleep, no fun, and now that they’re cracking down over at the SAC, no free (stolen) food. Guess we’re gonna have to take all we can get when it’s free on Fridays. Good luck with that.

Crime report of the week: Bad luck or good aim?

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This just in … (well, actually, it was in on Monday … but it’s important to make sure nothing more badass comes along before report of the week is posted)

 A non-Temple guy driving through campus early one morning was greeted with a bang, quite literally, by kids from Temple Towers.

 At approximately 3:25 a.m. April 11, he was headed west on Cecil B. Moore when a bottle flew from somewhere in Temple Towers and broke the windshield of his 2003 Mercedes Benz.

 That’s gotta hurt. But we’re left to wonder … were these “unknown” Temple Towers hoodlums aiming for the Mercedes or did this guy just have really bad luck? I mean, it’s always bad luck, I guess, when a bottle comes flying through your windshield, but one might take solace in knowing that, say, someone with excellent aim threw the bottle on purpose rather than some drunken idiot hurled it and oops, it just happened to smash your fancy car. Right? More credibility that way.

 What a way to say good morning. Those Towers kids, they’ve got a weird sense of humor.

Crime report of the week – Spit on car

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Not many interesting crimes this week (as you can tell by the utterly boring title of this post), but they can’t all be gems, folks. Anyway, here’s a little something:

Someone was a little pissed off on Monday. Or a lot, depending on how offensive you find saliva to be.
According to the daily crime report, a student reported that someone spit on her car between 3:30 p.m. and 10:30 a.m. April 7. It’s unclear whether this happened overnight Sunday into Monday or Monday into Tuesday, but that’s irrelevant. The interesting part here is that first of all, said spit had some pretty impressive staying power – that’s like, a 19-hour time span! Whoever perpetrated this – gasp – horrific crime must of had one wicked cold going on to hock up something that lasted that long. Sorry, it had to be said.

Watch out for those people spitting on cars – spit eats away your paint. Really.

In more scintillating news, someone littered the other day and a whole bunch of students jaywalked outside the Student Center.

Photo courtesy of www.dbstalk.com. Photo shopping by Tyson McCloud, sports editor extraordinaire … Nobody cares.

Crime report of the week – Temple U furniture heist

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Greetings from Temple University, the bastion of street cred.

OK, so the crime report entry of the week isn’t exactly “hardcore,” or whatever you kids are calling it these days, but a few students pulled off a great furniture heist in the Kardon-Atlantic Terminal Building. The report reads that an apartment manager found a stolen love seat, leather sofa and chair in an apartment occupied by the students. When he confronted them, they refused to return the furniture and they were referred to the University Disciplinary Committee.

Kudos, kids … you’ve got to be pretty clever to pull off stealing any sort of furniture, let alone a leather sofa. Impressive. Just another example of the great minds bred by Temple University.

No word yet on whether or not Bonnie and Clyde aided in the heist. Just saying, it sounds pretty professional.

Happy St. Patty’s Day, kids …

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… and have fun paying your fines and/or doing hours upon hours of community service for alcohol violations.

A whopping nine violations appeared in the daily crime report this morning for the weekend following St. Patrick’s Day.

One student was busted March 21 for stealing bottles of beer from Maxi’s on the holiday. And you thought you got away with it! Not so, my friend. Those security cameras will get you every time.

Six students were caught over the weekend attempting to take various kinds of liquor and beer into residence halls.

And still two more got in trouble for drinking too much — one student was taken to Temple University Hospital for observation after “excessive consumption of alcohol,” as the crime report reads, and an underage female student was found passed out on a bathroom floor Saturday morning after what would appear to be a long night of drinking Friday night.

All nine (a semester record!) were referred to the University Disciplinary Committee. You know what that means. It’s time for hearings.

Welcome to the longest hangover of your lives.