“Choke” Movie Review

You know the stories – the guy in the emergency room with the hamster/light bulb/champagne bottle stuck in his rectum, the lady with the peanut butter and a hungry dog… But have you ever heard the one about the sex obsessed guy who may be the illegitimate offspring of Christ?

Sam Rockwell stars as med school dropout and sex addict Victor Mancini in actor Clark Gregg’s directorial debut Choke. Victor spends his days working at a colonial theme park, acting as a “historical interpreter” while he hits on the milk maids and wastes time with his chronically masturbating, scene stealing buddy Denny (the hilarious Brad William Henke).

Due to the expense of keeping his mother Ida (Anjelica Huston) in a pricy psychiatric hospital, Victor makes additional income by choking at restaurants, allowing himself to be saved by unwitting diners. As Victor explains it, these people feel indebted to him, sending cards and cash to help the poor bastard out.

Through flashbacks, we learn of Ida’s unorthodox method of child rearing, which consists of kidnapping young Victor from foster families in order to teach him such life-saving lessons as the hidden meanings of announcements at department stores.

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An easier way to cheat?

A service called ChaCha just might make it a little easier to get an answer on that test.

Text the free service, and within minutes, you’ll get a response from a high-speed researcher with (hopefully) the correct answer to your prompt.

On its Web site, ChaCha says it’s actually looking for lightning-speed researchers. But you better know your stuff.

An informal study from the Inquirer said that ChaCha got three of six questions correct. When asked what the most populous county in Pennsylvania is, ChaCha responded Lancaster. The correct answer is Montgomery.

Screenshot image courtesy philly.com.

Temple to join Ivy League

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Temple’s administration might hope that the Princeton Review reads Urban Dictionary when compiling its rankings. There, Temple is considered the “Harvard of Philadelphia” or the “Princeton of Broad Street.” Or at least it is to the people with enough time to kill to edit the entry.

And, if you are one for painful Temple stereotypes, be sure to read the you know you go to Temple if… entry. Although if someone really loved Temple they would remove the Curtis Hall and David Adamany references…

Temple Crepe Truck MIA

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For the past two days the Temple Crepe Truck, located in front of the Boyer School of Music, has not been open for business, and instead has been replaced by their yellow placeholder truck.

The Temple News will be following up as more information become available.

See the comments below.

Student band playing North Star Bar

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Marc Snyder is a changing man. Lead singer of The Major Leagues and a senior finance major, his voice can transform from the low-pitched rumble of Magnetic Fields’ Stephen Merritt to the hopeful yelp of Dr. Dog’s Scott McMicken. At times, Snyder’s rounded croon sounds like it should be rising out of a jolly, beer-bellied man – much like My Morning Jacket’s Jim James. Or Santa Claus, if he could sing. But it isn’t. Snyder looks like an eats-all-his-veggies-while-biking kind of boy, which lends to the band’s paradoxical appeal.

The Major Leagues’ versatility also presents itself in song genres. “Moonlit Daydream” is as whimsically light as the title and features a country-bumpkin guitar, jangle-y piano and a steady bass line; whereas “Equal Uncle” accelerates forward with adolescent, garage-band energy and then collapses into a seventies-dad-rock guitar riff. It’s no surprise, then, that the indie band was once a metal band called Doses Molly (which should be the name of techno band that employs glow sticks in its outdoor shows, but whatever).

The band, which consist of Snyder, senior economics major Andrew Mattey and three local members, will be playing at the North Star Bar tonight at 9 p.m. The Neighborhood Choir, another Temple indie band with lighthearted lyrics and swaggering guitar chords, will be opening for The Major Leagues.

Welcome everyone to the Date Line…

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As stressed, busy, and complicated as college can be, some of the most amazing people and situations will arise in those precious four years that seem to fly by in minutes. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find the person who fits us like a perfect cashmere glove all while attending class and working multiple jobs, or we are dumb enough to drink too many cocktails and make mistakes that lead us on a downward spiral all while keeping a tainted smile. I’ve found myself in both of these spectacular situations and truth be told, I say they are spectacular because they were valuable learning tools. Dating in college is kind of like wax burning on a candle; its path is unpredictable but interesting and intriguing all while pleasing our senses and being capable of burning you at any time. Taking the time to date and put ourselves out there is risky but that’s what makes it that much more exciting.

My name is Giavanna Ippolito and I wish to welcome you, girls and guys alike, to my relationship column, The Date Line. Here I will delve into the multifaceted canvas that are relationships, dating, and the incredible single life among people living in the fast paced, cosmopolitan city of Philadelphia. My hope and wish is that through this column I can reach Temple University students and many others by tackling major issues that make relationships something of a horror film for us as young adults by offering both professional and my own personal advice. I’ve been laughed at by my friends as they have called me a “dating guru who is unpredictable” and I can’t wait to share my stories and hear your feedback on the insane and entertaining dating scene in Philadelphia.

Check out my first column today in print and online at Temple-News.com.

Randall “Tex” Cobb now an alum

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Former boxer and actor Randall “Tex” Cobb, 54, graduated from Temple – magna cum laude – at a ceremony in McGonicle Hall on Friday. Cobb received a degree in sports and recreation management after deciding to return to college about three years ago.

Cobb lost his chance at the Heavyweight title against Larry Holmes in 1982, and had a professional record of 43-7-1. The boxer-turned-actor performed in a number of small TV roles, including Walker, Texas Ranger, The X Files and MacGyver. He’s currently filming Shoot Out of Luck, a comedy action film about cowboys and gangsters.

Hope you never tried to take his seat in class.

Snacks in the SAC – In the waiting line

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So you’ve picked up your $6.85 burrito/drink combo from Dos Manos after realizing that the Deli no longer exists. You walk your crushed spirit over to the checkout line only to discover that you’re standing way back by the salad bar.

Yes, different meal options aren’t the only new additions to the Valaida S. Walker Food Court – there are also these fancy, tedious touch screen registers. Sure, they might be better looking than the worn registers of semesters past, but these sleek machines from Micros require a lot more button pushing than the old ones and are greatly slowing down the checkout process. Continue reading