I realized this week that many incoming students at Temple and even upperclassmen are unfamiliar with the political process in Philadelphia. As the general election is drawing perilously close, I decided to take a little time to do a rundown of how our elections work for the benefit of those newly arrived or long ignorant of the glorious Philadelphia party machine. In the first of a series leading up to our November 6th election, I would like to provide an introduction to some of the vagaries of the Philadelphia political process.

I’d like to begin this week by taking a look at exactly how elections work. With election day only a few weeks away, you’re probably thinking, “This is a glorious chance to make my voice heard and exercise the freedoms granted to me by the democratic process our soldiers have died to uphold.” Not so fast, young democratic advocate! You are fortunate enough to live in a city controlled by a “political machine“.

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How tired are you of some industry-niche magazine making a list that rags on Philadelphia?

In 2000, Men’s Fitness ranked Philadelphia as the fattest city in the nation, a distinction not helped considering the American Obesity Association put the cradle of liberty among the ten plumpest towns every year from 2000 to 2005. People took seriously the cause to move away from that, and we have, though we can’t seem to shake that image.

We’ve come along way, though. Magazines have said nice things about us.

• In October 2005, National Geographic labeled Philadelphia the ‘Next Great City.’
• Food and Wine magazine recanted its criticism of Philly’s food culture and, after a revisit with respected Inquirer food critic Craig Laban, labeled this city one of the nation’s best dining stops. (Scientists have long found correlations between good food and big tummies).
• But, then this. Travel and Leisure Magazine, with the help of CNN Headline News (the hardest-hitting journalism cable news has done in some time), ranked 25 American cities by a host of criteria in eight categories.
• But all you heard about was Philly’s rank as the ugliest. Which is unfair for too many reasons for me to post on, but not least of all on the fact that Philly got lots of props on lots of things. Oh, but everyone got a big laugh out of it.
• Travel and Leisure boasted some 60,000 responses, most of whom, I would think, base their tenets on assumptions. Miami – ranked the most attractive – is associated with sun, fun and bikinis. Philly, D.C. and San Antonio – at the bottom – are known more for historical importance. History isn’t necessarily hot, setting aside Ben Franklin as the sex icon that he is/was/will always be.
• But that’s what sucks. The 215 was ranked among the 10 best in all seven Culture categories, a height equaled only be San Fran and NYC. It was in the top 5 of eight categories overall, and it came dead last in looks. Admittedly, the looks count was actually pretty lopsided against us, but New York, a city so often held on high, found itself last three times.

Magazines long ago figured out that Americans love competition enough to read and fight over articles with lists. It’s easy. It brings attention to their product because idiot talking heads will blog on it. Enough people know Philly that we’re easy to pick on.

Lititz, a small town in Lancaster County not far from where I grew up, is going through its own version of Jena’s racial tension. Basically, a group of Warwick High School students sporting confederate flags on their trucks taunted, and yelled racial slurs at, three minority students. Warwick officials have declined to say how the offending students were punished, but word is they were suspended. One of the minority students’ father, pictured, wants them expelled.

While I don’t think you can blame the father for wanting the expulsions, I think that would be the wrong route for Warwick to take. If the end goal is mutual understanding, which it should be, then separation is counter productive. Having the offenders gone probably won’t make the minority students feel much safer. They will only have to face other kids who may have been thinking what the offenders said. Expulsion also wouldn’t give the rebel flag bunch an alternative way to look at their diversifying life, which is exactly what they need.

In Jena, the authorities turned in the opposite direction they needed to, in order to actually deal with the tension. Instead of forcing the two parties to sit down and deal with the misconception and fear, they only confirmed that both parties need to be afraid. The black students were at first stuck with attempted murder for a schoolyard fight, which is certainly reason to be afraid. And by so doing, the authorities confirmed for the white students that the black students were dangerous.

In Warwick, the officials need to take Jena as a lesson. Sit the kids down. Get them to listen. And get them to talk. If Warwick goes the way Jena went, then they will assure only that everyone involved will remain angry and afraid for a long time.

I like fake Chinese food: General Tso’s chicken, in particular. It’s just so salty. I am getting hungry just writing about it. The SAC sells some tasty fake Chinese food that sneaks its way into my diet every now and then. I always take a couple of fortune cookies when I get my SAC Chinese food since I have an uncontrollable urge to have my future explained to me in cryptic sentences typed on small pieces of paper.

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I encourage all the Broad and Cecil readers to take note of Inga Saffron and the Inquirer’s coverage of the battle over Old City’s historic Girard Estate warehouses, which are in imminent danger of demolition at the hands of the very developers that own the property. A block of 1820s-era maritime warehouses were purchased by Brooklyn-based BRP Development in 2005, ostensibly to be renovated and turned into luxury loft space. Two years later, the only “work” done by BRP has been the ghastly disemboweling of the rear walls of two of the warehouses, pictured at right, causing obvious structural damage.
Now, conveniently, the developer has filed claims with city inspections claiming that their property is in “imminent danger of collapse”. A loophole in the zoning code authorizes the demolition of historically designated properties only under the condition that they too dilapidated to be renovated. If BRP’s properties are declared too dangerous to renovate, the developer will be allowed to demolish the only fully intact block of historic port building remaining in Philadelphia.

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King Tut has left he building. Actually, he was never there. I attended a showing of the Tut exhibit to bask in his glory. The promotional literature implied that the tour would culminate with a viewing of the fabulous Tut burial mask. Sadly this was not reality. Most of the items exhibited, while quite interesting, were associated with King Tut’s predecessors. I was quite impressed that these items retained much of their beauty. However, I began to wonder when they would be bringing on the Tut. The last room did have Tut related items, but these were mostly jars for his livers and some fancy necklaces. The exhibit itself had the feel of an old mummy movie compete with faux tomb columns and ambient exploration music.

The most enjoyable aspect of this exhibit was to see the lengths to which Ancient Egyptians fetishized these pharaohs. They were revered as gods and the burial rites were elaborate and exquisite. Before we pause to have a chuckle at the foibles of these silly ancients, I must point out that we have continued with the fetish of the Egyptians. We send these artifacts around the world and lay down crisp Hamiltons down to view them. There are documentary television series hosted by khaki-adorned hosts wondering aloud if King Tut was murdered? Tut has even been x-rayed and CAT scanned to investigate this “mystery” further.

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