Today at approximately 3:00 p.m., Brian Dzenis, editor-in-chief of The Temple News, received a phone call from a woman named “Angela Philly,” who offered Mr. Dzenis new insight into the inner goings-on of Temple, Philadelphia and the U.S. Government.

Some talking points include:

• Babies are being scanned and radiated;
• Temple students are plotting an armed takeover of the surrounding community;
• The School of Engineering practices bestiality; one engineer had sex with an antelope (and some more unintelligible fluff about deer sperm);
• The flash mobs in Philly are actually caused by sound waves, which only Temple students can hear;
• The police want a homeless woman to perform a precision stabbing;
• We are actually eating cloned pigs; and
• Homeless people are stabbing each other.

According to Ms. Philly, she is a banker and used to work in the newspaper industry.

For verification of these facts, or to hear about President Obama taking pictures through laptops, contact Ms. Philly at 215.769.8233

The Temple News does not confirm nor deny these allegations. We are currently investigating their validity.