Well, they sure do it for someone.

The first entry of this morning’s daily crime report reads:

“Student reported that she observed an unknown male inappropriately touching himself in the periodical area at 9:13 p.m. Sept. 11. Male fled without incident.”

No joke, kids. Looks like someone gets his jollies from journals.

Remember that episode of Friends where Ross gets mad because he finds out students are having sex in the paleontology section next to his published thesis? I think they had the right idea, that is, if you’ve got to do anything of that nature in the library, you’d do well to keep it confined to the stacks …

… just kidding!